Funny Quotes & Sayings


We all need a good laugh from time to time. Read these quotes and try to keep a straight face! It's impossible!

A drink a day keeps the shrink away. - Edward Abbey...Funny
If it weren't for pick-pocketers I'd have no sex life at all. - Rodney Dangerfi...Funny
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. - Bob Hope...Funny
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. - Humphrey B...Funny
I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - W.C. Fields...Funny
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger ...Funny
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. -...Funny
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the U...Funny
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success...Funny
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure...Funny
Time is God's way to keep everything from happening at once. - James Brown...Funny
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. - Einstein...Funny
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for ex...Funny
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...Funny
People who drink light beer don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee ...Funny

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