Funny Quotes & Sayings
We all need a good laugh from time to time. Read these quotes and try to keep a straight face! It's impossible!
| A drink a day keeps the shrink away. - Edward Abbey... | Funny |
| If it weren't for pick-pocketers I'd have no sex life at all. - Rodney Dangerfi... | Funny |
| Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. - Bob Hope... | Funny |
| The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. - Humphrey B... | Funny |
| I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - W.C. Fields... | Funny |
| Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger ... | Funny |
| The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. -... | Funny |
| There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the U... | Funny |
| Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success... | Funny |
| Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure... | Funny |
| Time is God's way to keep everything from happening at once. - James Brown... | Funny |
| I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. - Einstein... | Funny |
| Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for ex... | Funny |
| I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to... | Funny |
| People who drink light beer don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee ... | Funny |