Funny Quotes & Sayings
We all need a good laugh from time to time. Read these quotes and try to keep a straight face! It's impossible!
| Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success... | Funny |
| Time is God's way to keep everything from happening at once. - James Brown... | Funny |
| Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger ... | Funny |
| Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for ex... | Funny |
| I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - W.C. Fields... | Funny |
| And that's the world in a nutshell -- an appropriate receptacle. - Stan Dunn... | Funny |
| Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils - Louis Hect... | Funny |
| I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate p... | Funny |
| A drink a day keeps the shrink away. - Edward Abbey... | Funny |
| If it weren't for pick-pocketers I'd have no sex life at all. - Rodney Dangerfi... | Funny |
| I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. - Einstein... | Funny |
| The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. -... | Funny |
| The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. - Humphrey B... | Funny |
| Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. - Bob Hope... | Funny |
| If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else! - Yogi ... | Funny |